Ganondorf and My Arab-Ashkenazi Journey

Nintendo released “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” in the United States on November 23, 1998. At that time, I was seven years old. After months of nagging, my parents bought me a Nintendo 64. “Ocarina of Time” might have been the first video game I ever played. My memory isn’t good enough to be certain.

I do vividly remember Ganondorf’s introduction. It was the first time I had seen a character with dark skin and orange hair. He had a unique outfit: earrings, a black leather jacket top and knee pads with gold studs (something a member of a biker gang would wear), indigenous-looking pieces of cloth around his neck, shins, forearms and waist. I imagined the spherical gold jewel on his forehead would later emit something deadly.

Ganondorf was the “wicked man from the desert,” the leader of the Gerudos and the only male Gerudo. He wanted to conquer the white Hylians. The game does not explain his motivation.

I did wonder why the Arab-looking man from the desert had to be the villain.

Ironically, my association with Arabs and deserts did not originate from my Arab ethnic background. I’m half Lebanese on my mother’s side. By the time “Ocarina of Time” came out, my parents had taken me on one trip to Lebanon. From what I could remember, Lebanon didn’t have any desert areas. It was a country of mountains, valleys, cedar forests and beaches.

Disney’s “Aladdin” provided my introduction to the idea of many Arabs living in desert biomes. My mother explained that much of the Arab world, such as Saudi Arabia, contained vast deserts. It was interesting to learn that people could share a language and culture while living in wildly different yet proximal locations.

Did non-Arab people who created characters like Ganondorf imagine the Arab world as nothing but a barren desert? Lebanon was a tiny country, but it was as much a part of Arab culture.

When I fought Ganondorf, I was shocked to watch him transform into a giant boar monster named Ganon. Because I had no knowledge of the previous games, I hadn’t heard of Ganon. Was this monster his true form? Was Ganondorf only a disguise? Were the makers of the game trying to say he wasn’t human to begin with?

During the cutscene that ensues upon Ganon’s defeat, the hero, Link, slashes him and stabs him between the eyes. Each cut spatters green blood on the dirt. The absence of red blood felt like a confirmation of inhumanness. In his Ganondorf form, he coughs up red blood.

The game creators were fine with all colors of blood in their “E” for everyone game. Death was too adult, though. Instead of expiring from dozens of sword and arrow wounds to his face and body, Ganon returns to his Ganondorf form. Princess Zelda and her sage allies seal Ganondorf away for eternity. As Ganondorf floats, immobilized, in a limitless ocean of blinding white light, he curses his opponents.

Desert folk were villains, and villains were destined to lose. I picked up on this theme, but I didn’t immediately begin exploring the linguistic and political complexities of my identity.

Then 9-11 happened.

Post 9-11 and Ganondorf in ‘Super Smash Bros. Melee’

Before 9-11, my experience was that Americans were largely indifferent to Arabs. If a person hated Arabs, it was usually because they hated all non-whites. Group-specific bigotry was reserved primarily for Black and Latino people.

After 9-11, it was our turn to bear the brunt of societally acceptable bigotry. My Arab side was more susceptible to suspicion and fear. The American government was invading Iraq, the country my mother was born in, the country on her papers. My parents announced that we would be indefinitely delaying our next trip to Lebanon.

These changes illuminated the comforts of my white half, my father’s side. My last name, Rauch, produced pronunciation struggles, teasing and nicknames, but never racism. When adults believed I was 100% white, they saw no reason to bother me.

I wasn’t just white, though. I was “Jewish.”

When adults first introduced this illogical identity label, I was horribly confused. I had been an atheist since first grade. How was I Jewish? I didn’t practice the religion of Judaism.

I thought of my aunt’s husband, Michael, as Jewish because he believed in God, wore a yarmulke, segregated his silverware, didn’t eat pork and stopped using electricity on Friday night. Then the adults said my friend, Carl, was Jewish, too, even though he also didn’t do any of those religious tasks.

Eventually I realized the common usage of “Jewish” was in the ethnic context, as a synonym for Ashkenazi. The entire idea of Jewishness as an ethnicity was a confusing misnomer. Please tell me how it makes sense to use the same word for the practice of a religion and an ethnic group under the white race umbrella category.

“Ashkenazi” was more logical than “Jewish” as an ethnic descriptor, but it seemed like a linguistic exception as well. There wasn’t a historic Ashkenazi nation. Instead “Ashkenazi” referred to an ethnic background stew of European countries: Poland, Germany, Austria, Hungary and so on. My white friend, Devin, was Irish and French, but he didn’t have some special word for that mixture of white flavors.

Being perceived as Jewish functioned as a double privilege. I had all the benefits of other whites, yet somehow also the benefits of this Jewish category. In addition to not being discriminated against, other Ashkenazis gave me special treatment.

There was even a special word for anti-Jewish bigotry: “antisemitism” and all its conjugations. No one seemed to know any special words for being against other flavors of white. Other ethnic bigotry descriptions had to settle for hyphenation.

Like the idea of Jewishness as a word for ethnicity, I later learned that the common context for “antisemitic” didn’t make any sense either. “Semitic” referred to “semites,” who are generally Arab, not European. The word people spoke when discussing possible discrimination against my father was the word that should have been spoken about actual discrimination against my mother.

When some adults learned of my ethnic mix, they expressed surprise. They informed me that it was rare for an Arab and a Jew to marry and have children. These two groups had hated and killed each other for decades, mostly because of this little Lebanon-adjacent country called Israel. Because my father was Ashkenazi, they assumed he was loyal to this Israel place. My father was born in New Jersey and raised in New York. Like me, he was secular.

During our trip to a Palestinian refugee camp, my father explained the history of Israel. It was easy to tell he wasn’t a fan of the country or anything it stood for. I told him the history of Israel sounded like the history I had learned about in school where the white settlers from Europe had conquered land from the indigenous Americans. “It’s exactly the same,” he said. At the time, I didn’t understand how rare it was to have an Ashkenazi-American parent who detested Israel.

I imagined the Gerudo people from “Ocarina of Time” stemming from a marriage like my parents.’ If our traits were able to express a bit differently, a ginger Ashkenazi person and a dark-skinned Arab could conceive someone who looked like Ganondorf. The more I understood my identity, the more I felt an odd connection to this fictional character.

A few months after 9-11, Nintendo released “Super Smash Bros. Melee,” the second installment of a now iconic series that created the platform fighter genre of videogames. Before 9-11, I had “Super Smash Bros” for the Nintendo 64. Captain Falcon, a race car driver, was my favorite character to play. Like Mario, Luigi, Ness and Link, Captain Falcon was white. Because he was a race car driver, the Nintendo team behind the game designed Captain Falcon to have the fastest run speed of all characters.

Schoolyard rumors swirled about how Ganondorf would be a playable character in “Super Smash Bros. Melee.” I was ecstatic. Surely he would be so fun and unique. In his game of origin, he had an energy ball spike and a move where he released a swarm of heat-seeking energy blasts. Maybe he would have the swords from his Ganon form.

I brought home “Melee” and unlocked Ganondorf. As I played him, I quickly realized Nintendo had designed him as a clone of Captain Falcon. Almost all of his moves were the same. He dealt a bit more damage than Captain Falcon, but he was horribly slow. In this type of game, the bad characters are usually the slow characters.

Even the names of his moves were crappy compared to Captain Falcon. Ganondorf’s down B kick — for non-gamers: pressing down on the control stick and pressing the B button — to this day, is called “Wizard’s Foot,” which sounds more like a Harry Potter universe medical condition than an attack.

Casual and competitive “Melee” players quickly agreed that Captain Falcon was one of the best characters in the game. They also agreed that Ganondorf was several tiers lower. The only non-white character, the Arab character, was a crappy version of a white one.

News later emerged that Nintendo had rushed the development of “Melee.” Because Ganondorf was squeezed in around the end of development, the team didn’t have time to give him a proper design. I was willing to forgive Nintendo…this time.

Ganondorf’s next iteration was in “The Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker,” released in the U.S. on March 24, 2003. This Ganondorf had even darker skin. He wore a kimono and wielded twin katanas.

Because I did not have fatphobia during my childhood, I didn’t care that he had developed a visible paunch and filled out his face. Others, however, viewed his fatness as a downgrade compared to the rippling muscles of the original.

My grievance was that “Windwaker” Ganondorf was an easier boss than his “Ocarina” counterpart. In “Ocarina,” Ganondorf can float, use magic and transform into a monster with swords. When I fought him the first time, I didn’t have a strategy guide or reliable internet access. I had to think hard about timing, positioning and which attacks would work. In “Windwaker,” Ganondorf swings swords and jumps. I beat him on my first try, easily. All I had to do was hit the B button, shield and hit the A button when the game told me to.

In another game rated “E” for everyone, Link defeats Ganondorf by planting the master sword in his head. No blood this time.

Before the fight begins, Ganondorf says, “My country lay within a vast desert. When the sun rose into the sky, a burning wind punished my lands, searing the world. And when the moon climbed into the dark of night, a frigid gale pierced our homes. No matter when it came, the wind carried the same thing…Death. But the winds that blew across the fields of Hyrule brought something other than suffering and ruin. I coveted that wind, I suppose.”

I couldn’t help but interpret his monologue this way: All Arabs live in the desert. The desert can only be miserable. Because Arabs are miserable in the desert, they plot to steal superior land from white people.

Whether abroad or in my hometown, I hadn’t associated the desert with misery. I grew up in San Diego county, much of which is a desert. I challenge you to find anyone who will say San Diego county is a miserable place to grow up. It has some of the most mild weather in the world. As a child, I enjoyed trips to beautiful desert oases such as Anza-Borrego.

Even in the places where the desert climate was harsh, it didn’t seem like the desert itself was a top source of suffering. People in Iraq were miserable because of Saddam and then because of the U.S. invasion, not the desert. Other parts of the world and the U.S. had hurricanes, snowstorms and sub zero temperatures. What was so exceptionally horrible about the desert?

‘Twilight Princess’ and ‘Super Smash Bros Brawl’: Is Ganondorf Black Now?

The next iteration of Ganondorf appeared in “The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess,” released in the U.S. on November 19, 2006. Yet again, designers made this Ganondorf’s skin color darker than the last.

For the first time, I heard debate as to whether Ganondorf was Arab. Initially I didn’t understand why. He was still from the desert.

Then my Black high school friends enlightened me: This Ganondorf had cornrows. They explained that cornrows were culturally Black, like dreadlocks. In the coming months, it seemed the verdict was in: Ganondorf was Black now. Black content creators began photoshopping Timberland boots over his feet, especially during his stomp animation.

The situation reminded me of Dave Chappelle’s brilliant racial draft sketch where American ethnic groups argued over who should have cultural ownership of celebrities with debated backgrounds. Perhaps it was silly to feel possessive over Ganondorf. Nonetheless, I admitted I was reluctant to lose him to another team.

“Twilight Princess” Ganondorf was the featured version of the character in the next iteration of the Smash series, “Super Smash Bros. Brawl.” Released in 2008, Nintendo had more than six years to redesign Ganondorf since his disappointing “Melee” design.

I took the game home to find that Ganondorf was still a Captain Falcon clone. This time he was even worse. The competitive “Brawl” community quickly declared him the worst character in the game. His run animation was a power walk. It was faster to cross the screen by kicking with Wizard’s Foot.

From what I could tell, the only new move he had was “Flame Choke,” a slightly modified version of his original side B move. Performed off stage, the move could suicide bomb the Ganondorf player and opposing player into the bottom blast zone. There was an opening for team Arab to reclaim Ganondorf, but not for a reason we would be proud of. Instead I went back to playing Captain Falcon and other characters.

For a decade, Ganondorf’s primary design would be his “Twilight Princess” look. There was the Demise character in 2011’s “The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword,” who bore resemblance to Ganondorf and was supposed to be his descendent. Still, the fourth Smash game, launched in 2014, maintained the “Twilight Princess” Ganondorf design. Technically speaking, Demise and Ganondorf were separate characters. “Smash 4” Ganondorf was, arguably, the second worst character in the game, a one-rank improvement in a roster of 54 characters.

Between the release of “Brawl” and “Smash 4,” I completed my undergraduate degree at NYU and developed a surprising connection with the Black student community. It was all a wonderful accident. My Black friend and roommate, Justin, invited me to play football in the snow with a bunch of Black guys he knew. They happened to be members of the Gentlemen of Quality (GQ for short), a club dedicated to community service, mentorship and scholarship.

While technically not a fraternity, GQ offered a sort of above-the-table fraternity model for male students who actually wanted to grow personally and be part of a community, not just drink and engage in sexual conquests. There was no hazing. Dues were inexpensive, so the organization also acted as a fraternity alternative for men who didn’t come from wealthy families.

GQ was not officially a Black organization, but the vast majority of members were Black. I was one of only three or so non-Black members. The scene reminded me of Hal’s friend group in “Malcom in the Middle.”

The environment was always welcoming and accepting. It was another way for me and Justin to bond and have fun.

Toward the end of my time as a student at NYU, I attended a number of events where Black and Arab Americans expressed solidarity over their anti-Zionism. Until then, I had no idea there was a growing anti-Zionist movement in the Black community. One of the Black speakers explained how the IDF trained NYC police who then employed those tactics on Black neighborhoods.

Some of my history texts mentioned a Black-Jewish alliance. As far as I could see, that alliance was nearly dead during the 2010s. All of the Ashkenazis I met at NYU were Zionists. Some were self-described liberals who said they supported Arab and Black liberation but still wanted Israel to exist as a “Jewish State.” Conversely, I did not meet any Black Zionists. I heard of them because we have so many Black Zionist politicians, but it seemed it was rare for an average Black person to be a Zionist.

During my senior year, I was political action chair for GQ. For my final project, I took several of our members to a photography exhibit about Black Palestinians. As we absorbed a neglected piece of history, I thought again of Ganondorf. Maybe we could share him.

‘Super Smash Bros Ultimate,’ ‘Choose-to-Lose’ Characters and Hope for Ganondorf

Between my graduation in 2013 and the release of “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate” in 2018, I had many experiences related to the duality of my identity. Some bosses were nicer to me when they perceived me as Jewish. When my beard surpassed stubble, random checks at the airport became more frequent. There was one TSA agent who pulled me aside and checked my ID as I was about to get on the plane. I was near the back of the line, so I had watched everyone else enter the plane without delay.

There was a brief period of time when Smash fans thought Ganondorf might be a higher tier character. A trailer for “Ultimate” showed that this latest iteration of Ganondorf would have a functional sword and a modern version of his “Ocarina of Time” design. He had at least a few attacks that incorporated the sword, meaning there was a guarantee he wouldn’t be as much of a Captain Falcon clone.

I didn’t get my hopes up for a complete redesign, and I made the right decision. Again I bought the game. The three sword moves were the only differences I noticed. Otherwise he was still a slow version of Captain Falcon. The competitive “Ultimate” community declared Ganondorf the worst character in the game, a decision that stands to this day.

For me, however, the experience was different. This Ganondorf felt great. He was so fun to play. To this day, Ganondorf is on the list of characters I play frequently. I know I’m more likely to lose when I play him, but I can’t help it. There is an irresistible affinity.

In competitive “Ultimate,” there is an expression that some characters are “choose to lose” or “losing is a choice.” If you’re not familiar with the scene, you might logically assume the expression is about bad characters. Ironically, the slang refers to the best characters in the game. The implication is that these characters are so good that their players should win automatically. If these “carried” players lose, it’s because they wanted to lose. The purpose of the expression is to make fun of players who have an affinity for the best characters in the game, characters who are often frustrating to play against and boring for spectators.

Even after I figured out the context of “choose to lose,” the expression still made me think about having affinities for difficult paths. When you have an affinity for a difficult path, sometimes the choice is between two types of pain:

1. Follow the affinity path and suffer externally
2. Fight the affinity path and suffer internally

Ganondorf fit like a glove, but my losses were more frequent and devastating. The more I was honest about my entire ethnic background and anti-Zionism, the more I lost opportunities and received punishments. Conversely, I couldn’t bear the thought of lying about who I was and what I believed in. Technically I had a choice, but it didn’t feel like I did.

The same conundrum arose with my career. Choosing to be a writer has often felt like choosing to repeatedly lose my jobs and freelance gigs. I’m at a loss for adjectives that could effectively describe how horrible these job markets are.

This dynamic has extended to my political choices as well. Since 2020 I have voted for the Green Party in presidential elections. I have decided to stop being complicit in the pendulum of the two-party system. Once I realized that Democrats were the number one cause of Republicans winning, I stopped being afraid of Republicans, and I stopped caring about which anti-populist party won. My mind let go of the team sports dynamic.

In terms of winning and losing, the Green Party is the political equivalent of picking Ganondorf. Winning is physically possible, but you know you’re going to lose this time, the time after and perhaps until you die.

I can’t help it, though. Like many people, I live by my affinities and my truths.

Rumors have ebbed that Nintendo will finally redesign Ganondorf for the sixth installment of the Smash Bros franchise. The assumption is that Nintendo would feature Ganondorf’s design from “The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.” This iteration of Ganondorf had many new attacks and a voice actor. The final fight against him is challenging.

I have no idea if or when this game will come out. There’s a small chance Ganondorf won’t be in the game at all. If he is in the game, I’m skeptical that he would be a high or top tier character. But it’s possible. If Ganondorf can ascend after more than a quarter century in the lowest tiers, perhaps some day my affinities and truths will feel like winning choices.